Out Sports
Esera Tuaolo Has Just Begun
Never before has the phrase "Save Our Children" had such a
warm ring to it.
That was the war cry of Anita Bryant, former Miss
America contestant and singer, who in Dade County, Florida in 1977 led a
successful crusade to repeal a gay rights ordinance there. She claimed to be
saving the children from a world where being gay or lesbian was seen as an
acceptable alternative lifestyle.
Fast forward 25 years. Enter another
person who, just like Anita, has a beautiful singing voice, a gay husband (but
in this case not an "ex-gay"), and hails from a sunny state. But this time, it's
former football player Esera Tuaolo. And this time, it's saving the children
from the likes of Anita Bryant.
Tuaolo came out a few weeks ago, becoming
the third professional football player ever to come out after retiring from the
NFL. Now he says he's dedicating his future to making life better for young
people everywhere.
"For me the goal is to help the younger generation,
gay or straight," he said. "I look at myself and see myself pulling up a young
kid who is in the shadows. I'm saying, 'hey, come and stand by me. You can
definitely do this.'"
Strong words for a man clearly at a crossroads.
Tuaolo has withstood the initial media craze after he came out - "I'm
overwhelmed," he still says, weeks later - but now needs to decide if he's Dave
Kopay, who has become something of an icon since coming out 27 years ago, or Roy
Simmons, who has fallen off the radar since he did, 10 years ago. The
alternative, of course, is to forge his own path. Borrowing strongly from his
friend Kopay, that appears to be the course he'll take. It's just hard to know
what that means right now.
"I am ready for this. I just don't know what
this is," he said, laughing. "I welcome the challenge. I feel honored that I
have the opportunity to be a role model for younger people. I want to educate
the kids that it's not OK to hate individuals because they're different.
It could be their brother, their sister. It also could be their best
friend."
For some NFL players, that fact became clear during the last few
weeks. Tuaolo was a popular player. Over the course of nine seasons with the
Packers, Vikings, Jaguars, Falcons, and Panthers, "Mr. Aloha" was well liked
wherever he played. Since coming out, he said he's heard from many former
teammates and friends, including former Packers DT Don Davey; former Vikings TE
Greg DeLong; former Bears DT Chris Zorich; and former Jaguars OL Jeff
Novak.
"It's awesome. I'm still getting calls every day from friends,
family, and ex-teammates," he said. As for those who haven't called, he has a
similarly positive attitude. "Hey, it's out there. I think a lot of people need
to sit back and process and figure things out. I guess they're gonna have to
make their own judgment. And I have no judgment on anyone. I just value the time
when we were friends. It's gonna be great to share the stories with my kids of
all the great players I played with."
The Hawaiian-born defensive tackle
has plenty in the works, including initial talks about a book, and limitless
opportunities for speaking engagements. Tuaolo says he particularly cherishes
the opportunities he'll have to speak to younger people about his
story.
What makes Tuaolo such a riveting agent for change is his strong
appeal as a typical, down-to-earth guy. While there is doubtless the opportunity
to cash in on his newfound fame, it seems to be the last thing on his mind.
Neither does he appear to be a candidate to become too stuck on
himself.
"Who am I anyway?" he asks rhetorically. "I'm no one special.
But I have an opportunity. I don't think many people dream about changing the
world. It's a great feeling to know you can possibly make a difference. It's
about changing lives and saving lives, and that's where I want to focus on. It's
powerful, isn't it?"
Twenty-five years ago, Bryant was successful in her
anti-gay crusade. Poetically, a similar ordinance banning discrimination against
lesbians and gays finally passed in Dade County this year, the year Tuaolo
became a formidable figure in the gay rights movement. And playing a central
role in that battle: Billy Bean, the former major leaguer, who has since come
out and lives in that area.
It makes sense, if you think about it.
The newest soldiers hail from the arena where gays and lesbians have made the
fewest strides. One thing is for certain: Tuaolo is not the final chapter in
this evolving story. He's really just part of the beginning.
Bill
Konigsberg, a former editor at ESPN.com, is a
contributing writer for Outsports
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