Ralph De La Cruz

March 5, 2002

Connie Hines and Becky Neiswender occupy a tidy home in Fort Lauderdale, a few blocks from Sunrise Middle School, where both work as teachers.

These days, their living room is crowded with congratulatory balloons and flower bouquets. A banner, made for Hines last week by teachers and students at Sunrise, hangs over the kitchen door: "Congratulations on being Broward County's Best Teacher."

Just below and to the left of the banner is a framed certificate. Unlike the room's new additions, it has a feeling of permanence. "Domestic Partnership," it says across the top.

Hines, an eighth-grade social studies teacher, was chosen the county's top teacher on Thursday. She stood before 1,200 people and talked about the need to retain teachers. She thanked her mother, who died in August, and her father.

If she had ended there, I wouldn't have been in their home Sunday morning. But Hines made a point of thanking the person who gave her emotional support and love for the past four years. The person who put up with five months of late hours as Hines worked to get certified by the National Board of Professional Teaching Standards. Hines thanked her partner, Neiswender.

So, there I was, talking to a couple about the decision to make their private life public.

I've never thought being gay is an issue, or that a gay man or woman has any more choice in the matter than a heterosexual. And I don't care if my child's teacher is gay, just that he or she is good.

But, I thought, it can't be both ways. If it's a nonissue, why bring it up in a speech?

"She better have said it," Neiswender said grinning, then turning serious. "If she had a husband and kids, she would have thanked him and the children."

"That was a given," Hines said. "I can't imagine not acknowledging Becky.

"Actually, my biggest issue was getting up there and thanking my mom, who died Aug. 27, without breaking down," Hines said. "As far as Becky went, the only concern I had was whether to call her Becky or Rebecca."

Neiswender is right. If I publicly thanked my wife, Maria, nobody would say I had made a statement about heterosexuality.

So, why bring it up? It's the natural thing to do.

And it's not as if they've kept it a secret.

"I came out three years ago," Hines said. "I had been totally in the closet and sick of it. Every time a student would come up and say, `Miss Hines, can I ask you a question?' I'd think, `Oh, my God. He's going to ask, "Are you gay?"' I even worked on what I'd say."

"That's the fear of a gay teacher who's not out, to a principal at least," Neiswender added.

"Four or five months after I started at Sunrise," Hines continued, "a student came and said, `I saw that [rainbow triangle] sticker on your car.' He had gotten into trouble and was trying to use it against me. I said, `Yeah, I put it there. And guess what? My mother knows and my father knows, and [the principal] knows, too.'"

So why bring it up? If you're a teacher -- a good teacher -- you can't afford not to.

So, there I was, in the living room with the balloons and bouquets, and the two teachers and I ended up talking mostly about ... education. About the art of teaching kids in a transitional period of life, about being a leader and mentor, about training teachers and helping them avoid burnout.

The nice thing about this story is that Hines and Neiswender say they have gotten only positive strokes since the Teacher of the Year ceremony.

"Luckily, this is Fort Lauderdale," Neiswender said.

But now, Hines will compete with about 200 others for the state title. Is Florida ready for a gay Teacher of the Year?

"Who knows if we haven't already had one," Hines said.

Thanks for the lessons, Teach.

Ralph De La Cruz can be reached at rdelacruz@sun-sentinel.com or 954-356-4727.