Vicki Haddock

Loss has haunted Keith Bradkowski lately -- and he may be in store for yet another.

Ten months ago his job as a hospital administrator was eliminated.

Then, on Sept. 11, he lost the love of his life -- a flight attendant on American Airlines Flight 11, which plunged into the World Trade Center. In the surreal blur that followed, Bradkowski notified relatives and provided the Medical Examiner's Office with information to help identify the remains, including the serial numbers of the couple's matched wedding bands.

Not a day goes by, he says, that he does not grieve the absence of his lover -- the great cook who taught him "microwave survival strategies," the traveler who accompanied him abroad, the caring companion who bought boxes of crayons to hand out to restless children during flights.

The couple had recently celebrated their 11th anniversary "and just assumed we would be there for each other forever," he says.

Facing Off With the Government

Now Bradkowski is fighting to keep from losing something else: his claim for payment from the federal government's special Sept. 11 Victim Compensation Fund, which was set up to aid families of those killed in the terrorist assaults.

His right to compensation would be uncontestable if his partner had been Jenny instead of Jeff -- if the couple had been husband and wife.

Instead, Keith Bradkowski and Jeffrey Collman were domestic partners. Bradkowski and dozens of others in his situation, are asking the U.S. Justice Department to render an unprecedented decision that would make domestic partners as eligible for federal compensation as spouses of the opposite sex.

The debate over affirming gay and lesbian partnerships has cut a well-worn groove in American political and cultural discourse. Most people know the arguments and rebuttals. Most everyone's mind is made up.

But Bradkowski -- as sure a victim of Sept. 11 as any other -- puts a human face on what's at stake. Whatever rationale exists for the status quo rang hollow to him when he was denied Collman's death certificate because he flunked the legal test -- next of kin.

Sometimes when a human face emerges from the impersonal clash of ideologies, minds get changed. Recall that after San Francisco lacrosse coach Diane Whipple was killed in a horrific dog mauling, state law did not recognize her partner Sharon Smith's right to seek wrongful death damages. Her saga helped push through state legislation signed last month granting new rights to domestic partners.

"Every time there's a Sharon Smith or a Keith Bradkowski, it lifts thing. It helps people understand the ways we're all the same," says Jennifer Pizer, senior attorney with the Lambda Legal Defense and Education Fund.

Like Smith, Bradkowski maintains the fight is not just about the money: "This is about a recognition of who I am and what's been taken from me."

That's insufficient to sway some legal experts who worry that activists are asking Justice to embrace, without clear congressional intent, a brand-new federal standard for defining "family" and a new legal criterion for survivor benefits. The potential implications could be enormous, theoretically even expanding eligibility for Social Security.
Nor does Bradkowski's plight mollify religious opponents.

The Rev. Lou Sheldon, who heads the California-based Traditional Values Coalition, accuses gay activists of capitalizing on the Sept. 11 tragedy to advance "the broader homosexual agenda." He predicts the attorney general will resist pressure to act as a de facto lawmaker rather than enforcer.

Faced with a similar dilemma, New York Gov. George Pataki weeks ago ordered the state's Crime Victim Board to treat surviving partners the same as surviving spouses in awarding benefits.

The Red Cross did likewise.

The federal fund potentially could reimburse families of almost 4,000 people killed in the Sept. 11 attacks and provide aid for some 7,000 people injured in exchange for agreements not to sue.

The total tab is expected to reach billions of tax dollars.

The difficult job of deciding who gets what falls to veteran mediator Kenneth Feinberg, whom Attorney General John Ashcroft named Monday as the fund's pro bono special master. His expertise in Agent Orange cases has earned him bipartisan respect for fairness, and his background as a former top aide to Sen. Ted Kennedy encouraged those wary of Ashcroft's ties to the religious right.

Even Feinberg calls the statute creating the fund "ambiguous." He must also decide whether to value the life of a window washer the same as that of a millionaire broker, whether to deduct the value of life insurance settlements, and whether to compensate fiances and unmarried heterosexual cohabitants.

As hundreds of comments to the Justice Department make painfully clear, some families already are at war over whether compensation should go to lovers or parents, ex-spouses or stepchildren.

Bradkowski and Collman were among nearly 8,000 people who have registered under the state of California's domestic partners system, established in 1999.

"We would have married each other if we could have," says Bradkowski.

A registered nurse, he adds, "When I've taken care of patients in critical care, it didn't matter if they were gay or straight, black or white or Asian. I've treated people in drug gangs, people shot. I wasn't there to judge them. I was there because they needed to be cared for no matter what. Now that's what I need from my government."

© 2001 The Washington Post Company